Three Ingredients of Happiness

Naval Ravikant once distilled happiness down to its essence: “Happiness is a choice. It’s a choice between three things: where you live, who you are with, and what you do.”

It took me years to realize how profound this insight was. When I think about the times I’ve felt most fulfilled versus completely stuck, it almost always comes down to these three elements.

Where You Live

Environment shapes us more than we realize. It’s not just physical space, but the entire ecosystem we inhabit daily.

The places we live in affect our energy levels, opportunities, and even our perspective. Some people thrive in cities—walking to corner restaurants, having museums and events at their fingertips, feeding off the creative energy of diverse communities. Others find peace in small towns where they know their neighbors, can walk everywhere in fifteen minutes, and feel part of a close-knit community with shared traditions. Still others are drawn to rural settings—waking up to silence, having space to think and create, feeling grounded by seasons and the rhythm of nature.

Some discover they belong in entirely different countries where the cultural values, climate, or natural landscapes better align with their preferences—or where economic opportunities, educational prospects, and social mobility create environments more conducive to happiness.

The insight here isn’t necessarily that we should all pick up and move, but rather becoming aware of how deeply our surroundings affect us. Sometimes the answer is recognizing when a place genuinely isn’t working and being willing to make changes—whether that’s small adjustments to our immediate environment or bigger moves entirely. Often, the biggest shift comes simply from noticing how much our physical space shapes our overall well-being.

Who You Are With

The people around us shape who we become in ways both obvious and subtle. Their energy, outlook, and habits gradually become part of our own daily experience.

We all know that feeling after coffee with a friend? Sometimes we leave energized and full of ideas, other times feeling completely drained. The people we spend time with have a profound impact on our daily state of mind.

This doesn’t mean abandoning everyone going through tough times. The people with daily access to our emotional energy should generally lift us up more than they pull us down.

What You Do

How we spend our time largely shapes how we feel about life. Work often matters most since it consumes so many waking hours, but whether our daily activities align with who we want to be is equally important.

The most content people at work aren’t necessarily following childhood dreams—they’ve found roles that leverage their strengths while contributing to something worthwhile. The difference is an underlying sense of fit: waking up without dread, feeling competent, believing efforts matter.

Beyond work, this also includes hobbies and routines—having activities that energize rather than exhaust, making time for rest and reflection, and engaging in things that genuinely interest us.

Happiness isn’t just about good things happening to us—it’s about how intentionally we engage with daily life.

Making the Choice

The beauty of Naval’s framework lies in its simplicity and actionability. When I ask myself honestly: Am I actually happy with where I live, who I spend time with, and what I do?

I think about this when watching “The Pursuit of Happyness”¹. Chris Gardner faced homelessness, financial ruin, and his wife leaving him, yet he kept showing up every day to his internship, studying relentlessly, and being a devoted father. Despite overwhelming obstacles, he refused to give up. Even when so much felt out of his control, he still had choices to make.

Of course, some people believe happiness comes from accepting and finding contentment in whatever situation we’re in, without needing to change anything. This approach has deep roots in Buddhist philosophy and Stoicism—the idea that unhappiness often comes from our resistance to what is, and that peace can be found by learning to appreciate our current circumstances. There’s real wisdom in this perspective, especially when external changes aren’t possible or when the constant pursuit of “better” becomes its own source of stress.

Yet I’m drawn to Naval’s perspective because it feels empowering and encourages a proactive way of life. Maybe happiness really is a choice, as he suggests. The framework feels simple enough, and perhaps choosing to act on it—that’s where life gets interesting. ✨